Erase + Rewind (aka Nevermind)

We’re changing gears.

Again.

I got a new job.

“But Holly,” you say, “you already told us about your new job! You know, where you’re going to stay home with The Boy and work on your small business, right?”

Well…

Sort of. That was the plan, but an amazing opportunity came up and it totally ended up working out.

I wasn’t even expecting to get the job, as it’s super awesome and pretty much my dream job.

Starting Tuesday, I’ll be the quilting cottons Buyer for Fabric Depot.  (!!!)

If you haven’t heard of Fabric Depot, it’s like the mothership of all independent fabric stores. The store itself is as big as a Home Depot, and they also sell fabric online.  

DREAM.

JOB.

I applied for it while I was still working working, not even expecting an interview because that’s usually how things go, especially dream jobs. I wasn’t going to let the possibility of this gig disrupt Plan A (what I’m doing now), especially since everything for Plan A was in alignment.

Plan B was getting the dream job, but I don’t like to count my chickens before they hatch.
So how has Plan A been going?

It’s been two weeks since I said adieu to the Corporate job, and lemme tell you, this work? It’s HARD.

And I don’t even have The Boy at home with me yet!  I gave my work two week’s notice, and we had to give the daycare 30 days notice. I could have tried to match those dates up, but having the two weeks has been nice to really ramp up production for items for MarshMueller, especially for some big things that are happening, but I’m not going to tell you about it yet. It’s been incredibly hard and overwhelming.

Last week I cut out fabric for THREE DAYS straight. Now I’m nearly through sewing through only some of it, but I’m going to be incredibly vague and tell you about why it’s only some of the fabric later (again, not counting any unhatched chickens here).

SO MUCH FABRIC.

After I was done cutting, I took part of the day last Friday to have my second and final interview with Fabric Depot, and then went out to Canby to the Dahlia Festival with my newish 60mm lens (hopefully I will find some time tomorrow to post about some of the pics I took).

Production this massive requires a pace I wasn’t used to, and not to mention the sheer amount of materials! Last week, I was at Joann’s pretty much every day for something I needed to keep going on this crazy amount of production. I’m not kidding. This week I fared better and only ended up there twice, and one of those times was to swap out interfacing (I bought sew-in instead of my go-to fusible interfacing. That’s what I get for shopping with a toddler…I went and picked him up at school and then went to Joann’s).

It’s been a little frustrating because I’ve had to ramp up production in a big way but won’t be able to post any new items in the Etsy shop until next week. Again, I am being vague here, but it’s been making me a little stir-crazy.

So here we are.

What about The Boy? Won’t I totally miss out on these years before he starts school?

Well, yes and no. The timing of this whole situation worked out to where The Boy won’t even have a disruption in daycare, which is good, because that little boy does best when he’s on his routine (don’t we all?!).  

I am sad that I can’t be with him all the time, but it’ll just fuel my motivation to make those moments where I am with him that more important.

Part of me was really scared of staying at home…I’ve always doubted myself as a stay-at-home parent, and these past weeks have completely confirmed those doubts.

I FAIL as a stay-at-home wife!

The house seems like it’s messier than when we were both working outside the house, I haven’t had time like I thought to clean it (or keep it clean), and while I was totally ambitious in thinking I’d prepare dinner, Rob is still the dinner-maker.

So yes, I’m taking the chicken shit route and going back to work outside the house. It doesn’t change my views of stay-at-home moms; it strengthens my perception of them as unsung heroines (or heroes for stay-at-home daddies).  

If it were any other job, I’d probably stick with Plan A. But this gig just doesn’t come around all the time. I had to jump at the chance.

I think The Boy will find that he can forgive me later when he realizes I’ll still be able to contribute to his college fund. Especially once we have our student loans paid off, which was going to be a painfully slow process if we continued with Plan A.

What about MarshMueller?  

Oh, MarshMueller is still full steam ahead. I’ll just go back to working from 8ish-midnight almost every night, which is back to normal.  

I am totally fine with this. These past two weeks I’ve gotten more than 5-6 hours of sleep a night, and frankly, I’m not a fan. I’ve been sluggish, unmotivated, and in a funk.  So five hours of sleep a night FTW!

Oddly enough, when I had three jobs, everything seemed easier to manage. It wasn’t a piece of cake by any means, but if I have found if I’m given a specific timeslot to accomplish something, it’s far easier than having a complete day ahead of you, full of options.

I tried to structure my time, but found myself cutting out fabric for hours on end, only to find everything else fell by the wayside (like writing 2+ blog posts per week…ahem). After Rob and The Boy got home, we all had dinner, cleaned up (sort of…again, I failed at this), got The Boy to bed, I was too exhausted to go back into my studio and press on.  

I might even be at a point where I can recruit some outside help, which is perfect with the oncoming holiday season (yes, my friends, Winter is Coming).  

I probably won’t write about my day job, as I didn’t at the previous gig, and that’s how I like to keep it.

Stay tuned for the big news next week (I know, vague again. I’m an asshole).